my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
