Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
