so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
