I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
