went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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