I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
