You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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