She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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