I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
