Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
