Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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