We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
