I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
