it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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