she was so not down for the gang bang
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize