Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
