i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
