Plan B is the new Plan A
Tell her she can't have a vagina
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
