Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
