flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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