I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Alive.
So much puke
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
