youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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