Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
