am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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