he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize