So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
