It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
