check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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