he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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