were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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