If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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