i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can I color on your dick again?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
