Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
