An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
