I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
PANTIES FOUND
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