i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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