can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
do herpes really smell.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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