Pappa wants mamma naked
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
