My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
