I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
