It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
