does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
