So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize