I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
