So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
