I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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