I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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