Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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