Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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