Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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