Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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