ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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