After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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