I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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