So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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