it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have already put on my inside pants.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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