I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
