Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
