I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
