just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
