Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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