Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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