"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
